Boston Red Sox star Jarren Duran said he attempted to take his own life when struggling with his mental health following two difficult on-the-field seasons in 2021 and 2022 to begin his MLB career.

In episode four of a new, eight-part Netflix docuseries, “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox,” the 2024 All-Star game MVP recalled how external and internal negativity led him to depression.

“I would think every day: ‘I can’t f**king do this,’” Duran said. “I couldn’t deal with telling myself how much I sucked every f**king day. I was already hearing it from fans and what they say to me, it’s like I haven’t already told myself 10 times worse than that in the mirror.

“It was a pretty low time for me. Like I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

Docuseries director Greg Whiteley then asked Duran if he meant in Boston or on planet Earth.

“Probably both,” he replied. “That was a really tough time for me. I got to the point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened.

“So to this day I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off, but I took it as a sign of like: ‘Alright, I might have to be here for a reason.’”

After the suicide attempt, Duran says he looked at himself in the mirror and told himself: “‘Obviously, you’re f**king here for a reason, so let’s f**king be the way you want to be, let’s play the way you want to play, and let’s just live the way I want to live.’”